How to Embrace Cottagecore When Your Life Is Actually Chaotic

When you think about the cottagecore lifestyle, what do you picture?

Maybe it’s a little cottage tucked away in the woods. There’s probably a garden outside, fresh bread cooling on the counter, and somehow every surface is perfectly adorned with dried flowers, tiny mushrooms, and moss.

Meanwhile, I’m over here trying to remember where I put my coffee.

The cottagecore aesthetic is one of the things that originally drew me into this whole cozy little world. I love nature. I love mushrooms (looking at them, not eating them). I love the fantasy vibes and the idea of a slower, softer life.

The problem?

My actual life is chaotic.

Between work, content creation, family, and my ADHD brain deciding that I need to think about seventeen different things at once, my life doesn’t exactly feel like a peaceful cottage in the countryside.

And for a while, I think I subconsciously felt like that meant I wasn’t very good at the whole cottagecore thing.

But here’s the thing: The cottagecore lifestyle doesn’t have to be a life you already have.

Sometimes, it can be the life you’re trying to create in tiny little pieces.

Your life doesn’t have to Look Like A Cottagecore Pinterest Board

I love Pinterest.

I really do.

But Pinterest will have you convinced that embracing cottagecore requires an antique farmhouse, a massive garden that grows year-round, a sourdough starter with a Victorian name, and approximately 47 linen dresses.

If that’s your life, please know that I’m happy for you.

And maybe a little jealous.

For the rest of us, life might look a lot less aesthetic.

Your home might be messy. You might work all day and come home completely exhausted. Maybe you don’t have the space for a garden or the energy to bake bread from scratch.

You might love the idea of slow living while simultaneously feeling like your brain has 32 tabs open and one of them is playing music, but you can’t figure out which one.

Hi. Welcome. I live here.

The cottagecore lifestyle doesn’t have to be all-or-nothing.

You don’t have to completely transform your home or your daily routine to enjoy the things that drew you to cottagecore in the first place.

For me, those things are coziness, nature, mushrooms, and a little bit of fantasy and whimsy.

So instead of asking, “How do I make my entire life cottagecore?” I’ve started thinking more about how I can add little pieces of those things to the life I already have.

Start With What Makes You Feel Cozy

This is probably the easiest place to start because cozy looks different for everyone but you know what feels cozy to you.

For me?

It’s rain and thunderstorms.

Sweet scented candles.

A fuzzy blanket.

My flower lamp next to my bed.

And cozy and relaxing games that don’t involve someone shooting at me every two seconds.

Seriously, sometimes I just want to exist peacefully. I do not need a ten-year-old yelling at me through a headset while I’m trying to relax.

Your cozy things might be completely different.

Maybe you love making tea before bed. Maybe you have a favorite oversized sweater or a playlist that instantly makes you feel calmer.

The point is to figure out what makes your brain go, “Oh. This is nice.”

Then do more of that.

It sounds ridiculously simple, but I think we sometimes make cottagecore way more complicated than it needs to be.

Lighting a candle while you work isn’t going to magically transport you to a cottage in the woods. I’ve checked.

But it can make the space you’re currently in feel a little softer.

And sometimes that’s enough.

Romanticize the Things You’re Already Doing

I know the phrase “romanticize your life” gets thrown around constantly online, but I actually love the idea behind it.

You don’t necessarily need to add another task to your day.

Sometimes, you can just change how you experience something you’re already doing.

Take coffee, for example.

I am absolutely a coffee person. Hot coffee, iced coffee. I don’t discriminate as long as there’s plenty of peppermint mocha creamer involved.

I could drink my coffee while staring at my phone, mentally running through everything I need to do that day.

And, to be completely honest, that’s what I usually do.

But I could also put my coffee in a mug I really like, turn on my lamp, and sit somewhere comfortable for five minutes.

Same coffee.

Same chaotic life waiting for me.

Slightly different experience.

You can do this with so many normal parts of your day.

Open the window when it’s raining.

Turn on music while you’re cleaning.

Use that blanket you keep folded up because it’s “too nice.”

Light a candle.

Drink your tea.

Use the cute mug.

We’re not waiting for a special occasion anymore.

Tuesday is the occasion.

Cottagecore Can Be Something You Aspire To

I’ve always wanted a home that feels cozy and magical.

If I could design my perfect space, there would be warm flower lamps everywhere. There would probably be way too many mushroom decorations. I would have shelves full of books that I swear I’m going to read and a comfortable, cozy little corner where I could curl up with a fuzzy blanket and the dogs.

Would I actually read anything?

Listen.

We’re talking about the dream right now. Those details aren’t important.

In reality, I haven’t read a book in quite some time. By the time I finally have a chance to sit down and read, my brain is usually done and checked out for the day.

Like, completely turned off. No thoughts. Head empty.

Please check in during normal business hours.

But I still love the idea of creating a life where I have the space and energy to read again.

And I think that’s an important part of cottagecore that we don’t talk about enough.

Sometimes, an aesthetic represents something you want.  Not necessarily something you have at that exact moment.

Maybe you don’t have a garden, but you want to feel more connected to nature.

Maybe you don’t live slowly, but you’re craving a life that doesn’t feel so rushed.

Maybe your home isn’t cozy right now, but you dream about creating a space where you finally feel comfortable.

You are allowed to still love cottagecore.

You don’t have to already be living your dream life before you’re allowed to start reaching for pieces of it.

Bring nature Into Your Life in Tiny Ways

Nature is a huge part of cottagecore, but not everyone has access to acres of land and a giant garden.

Thankfully, nature is pretty good at showing up everywhere.

You can take a short walk and pay attention to the plants growing around you.

You can sit outside when the weather is nice.

You can collect interesting rocks, leaves, or pinecones.

You can grow herbs in a small container, indoors or outdoors.

Or you can be like me and get unnecessarily excited every time you see a mushroom.

I don’t make the rules.

You also don’t have to turn every interaction with nature into an activity.

One of my favorite things is simply listening to a thunderstorm.

That’s it.

I’m not journaling while it’s going on.

I’m not practicing mindfulness.

I’m not creating a five-step evening ritual.

I’m simply listening to thunder and enjoying every second of it.

Sometimes we get caught up in trying to make our hobbies productive that we forget we are allowed to just like things.

Give Yourself Permission to Slow Down for Five Minutes

When people talk about slow living, it can sound like you need to completely restructure your entire life.

Wake up at sunrise.

Make breakfast from scratch.

Tend to your garden.

Spend the afternoon embroidering tiny flowers onto a hand-sewn apron.

While that sounds lovely, I have things I need to do.

For those of us with chaotic lives, slowing down might happen in much smaller pieces.

Five minutes with your coffee or tea.

Sitting under a fuzzy blanket while it rains.

Playing a relaxing game for a little while.

Turning your phone over and lighting a candle.

You don’t have to earn those moments by finishing everything on your to-do list first.

This is something I’m still trying to learn because my brain is constantly reminding me of something I could be doing.

There’s always more content I could make.

There’s always something around me that needs attention.

There’s always another idea.

Another task.

Another thing I forgot.

If I wait until everything is finished before I let myself relax, I’m probably going to be waiting forever.

So maybe slow living isn’t always about having a slow life.

Maybe sometimes it’s about intentionally creating slow moments inside a fast one.

Stop Trying to Be Good at Cottagecore

This might sound a little silly, but I think aesthetics have become another thing we’re expected to be good at.

Your home has to look right.

Your clothes have to match.

Your hobbies need to fit the aesthetic.

Your photos need the correct lighting.

Suddenly, the thing that was supposed to make you feel cozy has a checklist.

No thank you.

You can love cottagecore and drink loaded teas like I do.

You can love nature and spend way too much time online.

You can dream of a quiet reading corner while lacking the mental energy to finish a book.

You can love the idea of slow living while currently living a life that feels anything but slow.

Cottagecore isn’t a test.

There isn’t a cottagecore council waiting to revoke your mushroom privileges.

At least, I hope not.

I own a lot of mushroom things, okay?

Build the Life You Want One Cozy Moment at a Time

I think the biggest reason I was drawn to cottagecore is because of how it makes me feel.

It’s warm, it’s whimsical, it’s connected to nature.

And, maybe more than anything, it feels peaceful.

My life rarely feels peaceful.

Maybe yours doesn’t either.

But I’ve stopped believing that I need to completely change my life before I can enjoy the things I love about cottagecore.

I can light a candle.

I can listen to the rain.

I can wrap myself in a fuzzy blanket and play a relaxing game.

I can drink coffee with an unreasonable amount of creamer from a mug that makes me happy.

It’s the tiny things.

But tiny things add up.

Maybe that’s how we create a softer life.

Not by waking up one morning in a perfect cottage surrounded by wildflowers and bunnies hopping around and birds chirping and flying around us like we’re some Disney princess.

Although if anyone figures out how to make that happen, please let me know.

But by finding little moments of coziness and holding onto them whenever we can.

Your life doesn’t have to be quiet to make room for softness.

And it definitely doesn’t have to look like Pinterest.